25tH dEcEmBeR- iTs My B'dAy

My birthday came as usual. I had a lot of anticipation on this day. It was my first birthday in the textile and diamond city Surat. Actually birthday has a unique value in our life. It formulate you glad. 24th December mid night came. Suddenly a thunderstorm came. 5 of my friends/colleagues came to my room and took me in their hands. I did not have any idea what they were doing. I did not get any chance to think for once. Then the actual story did begin. The rain of slaps fell on my back, cheek and butt. I was trying to escape from that situation but could not. The show did end when some red coloured fluid shown on my white t-shirt. They liberate me. It was paining a lot. But they did not have any care for that. Then another show did start. A diamond shaped cake had been brought. Everybody asked me to cut. I was about to press the knife over the cake, everybody picked up the cake and coloured me with it. I was looking like another world’s creature. After these things the drink session did start. Alcohol made us feel heaven. Sad romantic songs, sayaris made the assembly more colourful. Actually alcohol has great pros. It has the ability to make a normal man a singer and a sayar. In this fashion the dawn of my birthday party came. It was a perfect birthday, with friends, with suart’s chill breeze, with cakes, with alcohol and last but not the least with few red fluids. Still I was not in high spirits completely. There were lots of things for merriment. But I was longing for something. It is not for the first time. Seriously I have been felt this since 2005. The missing, the melancholy hits me hard. With lots of friends also I feel remote. Everybody remains with me in my birthdays. But something compels me to feel different. As if someone, somebody is yet to come. My friends say Soumya, you are really nuts. With all the exuberance also your behaviour is futile. You only mess up your special day. I normally sense what they are saying is completely true but what can I do? Something forces me to conduct myself like this only. After that I contemplate, friends are my treasures. I cannot distress them. By assuming this only I somehow changed my mind. Buttttttttt…………………. Till now somewhere in my heart I feel deserted,and forlorn.
Someone has said that:
The three W’s only make your life colourful. And they are WEALTH,WINE and WOMEN.
Though I have not millions of dollars, but I have that much wealth that I can fulfil my simple desire, I can do whatever I want. And the second is wine. This is the thing I have used so far up to the highest level. Since 2005 the amount of alcohol I have consumed is unbelievable because I am that guy who had not known to tie the lace of his boot till his class 9th. Due to the high intensity of alcohol I have slept outside of a shop whole night, have sit inside a police station, have scolded a girl by using abusive words and slangs, and have fought with my dearest friends. So the second W is not a problem for me. But in between three W’s I may be missing the third one. Everyone in this world needs a girl with him. And in my view it is a genuine need and fact. So I also need that. Like everybody I also need a girl to talk with, to spend some time, to share the happy and unhappy moments. That is why I remain unhappy every time and specially on my birthday. Here anyone can say it not too difficult to get a girl. But for me it is a very difficult thing. I don’t want anyone but someone. I have lost something in the past. Love is a word which can give you a marvellous pleasure and contentment.

People say many times your past gives you twinge only. But I, till now become happy by thinking about past. People say you can go to the past, but I can say we can fetch the past for some time to our dream. So far I am doing this. In every night I see the past occurrences. I see the picturesque moments happened in my life. I see the love of my life. I can see the girl of my life. She comes to me every night with a cute, little innocent face. By seeing her I become delighted, but when I start to touch her she vanishes. I know it is a castle in Spain of mine. But do you know the fact is she vanishes by saying me this:
Dream is dream Soumya….. try to live in real world, I cannot come to you…………..
After that I unlock my eyes and do make an effort to find the real world. And I see nothing except my bed, my laptop, and my books around me but not my dream girl. Till this point you can able to know that I love someone. I have a soft corner for someone. But…….. She is not with me now. It has already 6 years since I broke up with her. Some of my misinterpretation just has ruined our relationship. And I am cognisant about that. My friends asked me to rework my mind and attempt for any other. First I did not listen to it. Because I was loving her. In this way much time went. At this time much pressure came to me for doing that. But I could not. At a snail's pace I did try to focus on their sayings. But thing was that: every girl come up to me look as if her. Even at some situation I tried to feel, deem in a different way. But I did fail. After so much assessment I did decide I may not be deliberate on any girl aside from her. So I thought to continue with that only. I thought love is love yaar! It may be both side or from one side only. Many of you can say it is not a matter-of-fact, and I am a looser. Yes I am a looser where she matters and concerns. I love to live with the very petite minutes I have spent with her, by dreaming her cute face and last and truly last her endearing laugh.
Life is going on. Till now I have wondered lot of places, has seen bunch of beautiful girls, still every night she only comes into my dream and that is saccharine.




aNd ThAt SwEeT fAiRy Is YoU.......


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